Okay, so heres the deal... I got scared, and I did what i've always done, I slipped. I found out that I still have issues that I can't seem to trust God to deal with. I also found out that my flesh still is able to take dominion over my actions, and quench my spirit.
Heres the good news... Today is day 27 of a 40 day fast. The longest I have ever made it, or should I say my flesh has ever allowed me to make it. My record before this was 3, yes 3 days. Because I do physical type work with Homes of Hope, I chose not to do a water only fast. I drink V8 juice and milk. I also add some carnation instant breakfast to the milk at lunch and supper time. God has given me a good measure of grace, because I have not found it hard (most of the time), though a thick steak sure sounds good right now. I quit getting insatiably hungry after about the first week, and now a glass of juice and milk (seperate of course!) quenches most, but not all of my hunger. God was quiet the first few weeks of my fast, not speaking much to me. I guess He wanted to see if I was serious about conquering my flesh this time. As I pray, and as I listen, He is opening up to me, and He encourages me daily. He lets me know that though I am currently doing well, I still have a long way to go to put my fleshly ways of dealing with lifes issues behind me.
My wife, what can I say except that she is a "woman of God". It is my desire that I should be known as the "man of God", but I know I am just not worthy of that title yet, but my wife is. This woman has faced adversity that most women would have freaked out over, but she has grown from it, and she seems to have a relationship with God that most women would envy. God knew what he was doing when He put us together, though at times my wife would probably tell you differently! I hope to one day be her hero, her night in shining armor, leading her and our daughter valiantly through a life dedicated to service to God. I love you Anne...
That's about it for now, it is what it is. I have to spend an additional 3 months here as an intern, but what is 3 months in the grand scheme of things? I am posting a video I made of Homes of Hope stuff, the photos were taken with a cell phone, but hey, what a blessing!
