Sometimes I Just Get Lonely...

Sometimes I just get lonely...  I have friends here, I have my son, I talk to my daughter every night, but sometimes I just get lonely.  It's like all of a sudden a void appears in my chest and I have nothing to fill it with.  I pray, and I wait.  I know that it will pass, but it is there none the less.  I know God will use it for both His glory and my benefit, but sometimes I just get lonely.

Tomorrow I am going to go find out what all getting my drivers license back is going to entail.  My main concern is the cost involved.  I know that back in SC it would have cost me around $500 to take the ADSAP course.  I know because I've had to do it before.  As I recall it was a fairly drawn out process, like maybe a month or more.  I am praying that it goes a little quicker than that here in PA, and I am also praying that it is a little less expensive.  I really need my license and a vehicle, but God knows that so I am not worried.  I know that he will light the path; all I have to do is follow.

I splurged tonight.   I broke down and bought a shoe shine kit that contained both black and brown polish, 2 applicators, and a brush.  I actually took quite a bit of time considering whether or not I could afford such an extravagant purchase lol, but I do have to watch every dime.  Literally.  I save all my change in a big water jug.  I have a pair of brown boots and a pair of black leather shoes, and both are in dire need of some polish so I gave in.  

I haven't started the NA paper yet, but I may start putting an outline together when I get finished with this post.  I have a basic context, but I don't want to go overboard so I am trying to come up with a way of saying what I want to communicate in the least words possible.  That's not an easy thing to accomplish because once I start writing, if the thoughts are flowing, I could end up with 2 or 3 pages before I realize it.  I guess I can always chop it up after I'm done.

Thats about it for tonight.  Tomorrow is another opportunity to do the next right thing if The Lord sees fit to create another tomorrow.  

Father, please heal my heart, help me to get past the pain and regret that so contaminates my mind.  In You I am a new creation, please help me to act accordingly.  Father, I lift my son up to You tonight, that You would draw him to You and help him to see his need for Your guidance.  I ask You tonight Lord that You would bless all my children with a hunger for the knowledge of You, and the redemptive grace that You paid so dearly for.  Thank You that you are sovereign, and that I don't have to worry about whether or not you really care about me.

In Jesus' name,
Amen