On slipups and fasting...

Okay, so heres the deal... I got scared, and I did what i've always done, I slipped. I found out that I still have issues that I can't seem to trust God to deal with. I also found out that my flesh still is able to take dominion over my actions, and quench my spirit.

Heres the good news... Today is day 27 of a 40 day fast. The longest I have ever made it, or should I say my flesh has ever allowed me to make it. My record before this was 3, yes 3 days. Because I do physical type work with Homes of Hope, I chose not to do a water only fast. I drink V8 juice and milk. I also add some carnation instant breakfast to the milk at lunch and supper time. God has given me a good measure of grace, because I have not found it hard (most of the time), though a thick steak sure sounds good right now. I quit getting insatiably hungry after about the first week, and now a glass of juice and milk (seperate of course!) quenches most, but not all of my hunger. God was quiet the first few weeks of my fast, not speaking much to me. I guess He wanted to see if I was serious about conquering my flesh this time. As I pray, and as I listen, He is opening up to me, and He encourages me daily. He lets me know that though I am currently doing well, I still have a long way to go to put my fleshly ways of dealing with lifes issues behind me.

My wife, what can I say except that she is a "woman of God". It is my desire that I should be known as the "man of God", but I know I am just not worthy of that title yet, but my wife is. This woman has faced adversity that most women would have freaked out over, but she has grown from it, and she seems to have a relationship with God that most women would envy. God knew what he was doing when He put us together, though at times my wife would probably tell you differently! I hope to one day be her hero, her night in shining armor, leading her and our daughter valiantly through a life dedicated to service to God. I love you Anne...

That's about it for now, it is what it is. I have to spend an additional 3 months here as an intern, but what is 3 months in the grand scheme of things? I am posting a video I made of Homes of Hope stuff, the photos were taken with a cell phone, but hey, what a blessing!

Worst day ever?

Nah, not the worst day ever, but it's been awhile since I posted and I wanted to post something just to let my avid fans (all 2 of them) see where I am at.

My wife Anne had a few bad dreams last night, which involved losing me and our child Jude.  I knew that they affected her badly, and this morning they began to have an effect on me, almost developing into a sense of panic that I used to feel at times.  Panic I guess,  because I know that dreams can sometimes be related to things both spiritual and natural, and can even be premonitions.  I am fairly certain that is not the case here, but it took awhile to reach that conclusion.  A few other things happened as well, but as I look back I can see how childish and silly I was being to get into the foul mood I ended up in by the time I was sitting at church with my wife waiting for the service to start.  I can be such an idiot at times.  

Anyway, this is a short post because though I have much homework to complete, I am beat.  As it stands, God is still good, and I am still a foulable human in need of a savior.  I love you all, and please keep me in your prayers.

Kingdom Mindset

Good morning.  It is early on a Saturday morning so this is going to be a short one.  I really only wanted to give you a taste of where I think God is leading me spiritually, and give you something to chew on until my next post.  Here it is in two words: Kingdom mindset.  While Jesus was here on earth he taught that He was the doorway to the Kingdom, but what He mostly taught was Kingdom politics.  He came to begin to establish the correct government here on earth.  I have lost sight of that, or don't know if I ever really had sight of that.  If I focus too much on the doorway to the Kingdom, I just may miss the dynamics of the Kingdom.

Look at it this way.  (Please don't take offense at this example, it is for demonstration purposes only ;-)  If a car salesman got on tv and talked only about the gate to his car lot, how big the gate is, and how expensive, how clean, how pretty, how intricate, etc... and ended by saying "So come on down and see us," without ever talking about his cars, few if any people would go because all he talked about was his gate, not his cars.  We still know nothing about his product.  

I want a Kingdom mindset.  I want to be a God focused, God fearing, God loving husband, father, and son.  That is where I am this morning.  Where are you?

Illness and God-in-a-box

Well, I am sick as a dog, but God is still good! As you can see by my picture, I am feeling a little on the loopy side. I took a couple cold pills but they don't seem to be doing much of anything but making me sleepy. Oh well, such is life... Anyway, I am praising God in the midst of illness, and I hope that whatever you may be going through isn't bigger than your view of God at the moment. Our God is ALWAYS bigger than we can ever comprehend, it is only in our mind that He becomes small.

1 Kings 8:27 But will God indeed dwell on the earth? Behold, heaven and the highest heaven cannot contain You, how much less this house which I have built!

It takes a carpenter to build a house out of wood, but we all can build houses, or boxes if you will, in our minds. I have in the past built boxes that I though would hold our God. Much like the old TV show I dream of Genie, I thought I could keep God in this box and bring him out when I needed something. I say no more boxes! God isn't going to dwell there anyway, so why waste my time building them?