Tonight is the last night of 2012. I have not posted anything to this blog in about a year, I would have to check the date of my last post, but that sounds about right. A LOT has happened in the past year, and though I am not in the position I would like to have been in on this night, I do feel in my heart that I am in the position God wants me to be in, and I have made a commitment to Him to follow where he leads, from now on, through thick or thin. I will filter my decisions through scripture, and do my best to act in a Spirit led mindset.
I have made a couple of new years resolutions, and one of them concerns this blog. I am involved with Narcotics Anonymous now, and December 29th marked my 6 month anniversary clean. My sponsor, as a Christmas present, gave me a blank journal and a pen (hint hint). I got to thinking about my need to start doing some pen work, and then I remembered this blog. I hate writing with a pen, and my writing is horrible, so I have decided to use this blog as a daily journal of sorts. I don't really know what direction it might take, I only know how I plan to start. The first thing I know I am going to use this page for is a morning and evening journal. I will journal here in the morning, voicing feelings, concerns, where I'm at etc., and then at the end of the day I will review my day, and compare it to what I wrote in the morning. This is a technique that I learned in yes, a rehab. Another of my resolutions is to start doing the NA step working guides. I will say up front that my sponsor gave me a copy months ago and I haven't even looked at the first page. Yes, I procrastinate very well. I may do the work online here, as blog entries, but that sounds kind of scary and depending on the nature of the questions may not work out in practice.
I do want to say up front that this blog is for me. I haven't yet decided what I will do concerning whether or not to let people reply to my posts, make posts of their own, or simply make it a read only type of thing. I am trusting God to dictate the flow. Heck, I don't even know if anyone else besides my sponsor will read it. That isn't really my concern at this point, like I said it is for me (so ironically, I am talking to my self right now, that's gonna take a little getting used to). The grammar won't always be correct, nor the spelling, nor is that important. I want to capture my thoughts as they flow and not be bogged down wondering if someone is going to think I'm an idiot because I don't get sentence or paragraph structure right. Let me clear it up for you right now; yes I'm an idiot. The important thing is that I am exploring who I am under God and through Narcotics Anonymous. The important thing is that I see who I am, or at least who I think I am in black and white. I would ask that if I decide to allow other posters here, please keep it clean, and positive. I'm not saying I'm not going to talk about negative things, just that I do so looking for a positive and fruitful outcome. If you are a family member, and you happen to read something about yourself, or how I am dealing with you etc., please do not get offended. I am trying to be as honest as possible about how I am doing and feeling, and I will be as respectful as I can. This will not be a place to do any bashing of any kind, unless it is bashing the devil, and yes, I do mean the actual devil, you know Satan, Lucifer, etc., and not someone I perceive as acting like the devil, unless I perceive them to be openly bashing God, then yes, I might have to have a go at them..
So I will end this post by saying hello and welcome back to me, and a big hello to anyone else who just happens to have nothing better to do with their time than read this blog. May this coming year be a year of growth, both spiritually and economically.
