After much deliberation, and even more praying, I have decided not to post the entry I wrote this morning.  I don't necessarily think the illustration exactly applies to journal entries, but I guess it is close enough.  I am trying my best to control my emotions, especially where my soon to be ex wife is concerned.  I do fairly well now when I am actually in a conversation with her (at least when she isn't hanging up on me...), but I really want to vent my frustration, and my first thought is to do it here or on Facebook, but the Holy Spirit has been dealing with me fairly severely about that, hence my hesitation this morning.  

My God is absolutely sovereign, there is nothing, and I mean nothing happens outside of His design or against His will.  He knows the situation.  He knows my heart, and He knows Anne's heart.  That doesn't absolve me of the responsibility to defend myself, but it does give me comfort to know that ultimately He is in control, and there is nothing Anne can do that He hasn't allowed to happen.  I am learning to put my money where my mouth is when it comes to my faith, it's not my job to make anyone else follow suite.  

I found out that my buddy has checked himself into the VA to deal with his addiction.  I was just about to the point of telling him to quit playing with it, if you're gonna get high then do it with some gusto and stop trying to keep one foot in recovery.  That may sound harsh, but the sooner he gets to the bad part, the sooner he gets back into recovery.  

That's about it, maybe I will sleep better tonight.  I was sleeping fine again until last night.  

Father, please keep Your hand on this unfolding situation, and do a work in Anne's heart.  Please help her to hear what You say, and not what she wants to hear.

In Jesus' name,
Amen

 I have a journal entry written, but rather than post it I have decided to let it sit in draft form for awhile.  If this evening I still feel like posting it I will, but as for now it is going to slow cook, and may very well burn up in the process.  Then again, it may not.

Not my will, but Yours Father.

In Jesus' name,
Amen

My One Constant

I have so many things going on in my life right now that it is hard to keep focus.  I wish I could say that all of these things were good, but for the most part they are not.  Divorce, Dui, employment, and where I'm going to live are all competing for rent in my head.  I need to keep my focus though, on the One who can walk me through all of these problems.  I need to take my guidance and comfort from God.  I am powerless to do anything but take these things as they come, step by step, and turn them over to God.  Without Him these things will overwhelm me, but with Him these are nothing but things.

Father, please help me today to refocus, to find joy in You.  Please guide my steps words and actions as I navigate this day, and help me to have a grateful attitude.

In Jesus' name,
Amen 

Sunday Night

I'm feeling kind of irritated at the world tonight.  Just kinda fed up with everything.  I know it's a stupid selfish feeling, but I have to own it tonight so I'm not going to run my mouth here.  Goodnight.