Evening

I have been fairly sure that a friend of mine, who recently relapsed and picked up a shiny new white keytag, was using again, and I turned out to be right.  I didn't want to be right.  This is the one situation where I would prefer to be wrong.  He texted me this morning informing me that he was going to the VA to get help for his addiction.  Great, wonderful.  The only problem with that is he is living with someone who to the best of my knowledge is in active addiction, the same person he has been using with.  I have always been told that if you hang out in the barber shop long enough you are going to get a hair cut, and that changing your PPT's is a must.  I made a huge change, all new people, complete location change, and things, well I was under a bridge, so any "thing" is a change from that.  What really bugs me about the situation is that I consider him my best friend, besides my son, who has been a better friend to me lately than anyone else in my life.  I need a best friend to confide in and share experience strength and hope with, but I can't open myself up too wide "lest I too fall by the wayside".  There are times when having a conversation with my old buddy Jack doesn't seem like such a bad idea, and if I happen to be that vulnerable just as the opportunity presents itself, I know I would be in trouble.  I am extremely protective of my clean time.  I flat out refuse to go back to the old ways, the old life.  I made a resolution to practice self denial.  It was a suggestion by my buddy John MacArthur, and it struck home.  Self denial takes practice.  You have to do it on a regular basis just to show yourself that you are in charge, not your flesh. 

Father, thank you that though I am weak you are strong.  Thank you for giving me a desire for You, and a desire not to use.  I pray for my friend, that you would use me to do a work in this mans life, lending what little experience strength and hope I may possess.  Protect me from the negative influences of the world and those around me, because I know that the only difference between a test and a temptation is you pass a test, to give in is to fail, and it is at that point that the test is no longer a test, but a temptation.  Father please watch over my children, and help me to become a blessing in their lives.  Please be with Anne as she faces the challenges of the days ahead.

In Jesus name I pray,
Amen