In this dream I don't remember much (you know how dreams fade quickly), I was standing behind Anne with my arms around her, kissing the back of her neck. She was crying, not because she was sad, but because it was over. By over, I don't mean the divorce had been finalized, but that we had called off the divorce, were getting back together, and everything was going to be alright. That is how I woke up. The truth is, I did not even know that was in me. I thought I had managed to purge those feelings. I thought I had moved on. I don't want those feelings, and the sooner they become a distant memory the better.
It is gloomy again today, overcast and a chance of snow again tomorrow. I like snow, but the sun shining on the snow makes for a much better mood. I don't see how people that live in Alaska do it, I guess that is why addiction rates per capita are so high. I think I am going to try and get some rest and sleep today. I have been waking up early every morning, some mornings as early as 3am. I was up at about 6 this morning, and I don't have any work or anything and would loved to have slept in, but there was that dream...
I know my heart and my pride are battling, I can sense it in my thoughts, see it in my actions, and hear it in my words. My dreams are even showing the evidence.
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.
I am just thankful that I see the war, though I sometimes lose individual battles. The Lord knows my heart, and He knows my flesh as well, and I know that if I stay in constant prayer, He will give me the tools to eventually win the war.
According to Robertson McQuilkin, author of Life in the Spirit[1], there are four steps to attaining victory over our old nature and establishing a battle plan.
1. We need to surrender “self” to the Spirit
2. Identify the source of temptation
3. Recognize the Roots of Sin
4. Acknowledge the Taproot
"the taproot of sin is from unbelief in the promises of God" -John Piper
Father, help me today to recognize and trust You more. Help me to stay "armored up" as I engage in spiritual battle. Help me to recognize the way of escape as I face temptations in my own mind. Help me to become the man that You designed me to be, and give me the strength to fight.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
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