Tuesday, 1/1/2013 - Evening

I haven't done a lot today, it being the first day of the new year and all.  I did go to work for a few hours (bill collectors don't really care about holidays), and the apartment I am painting is ready to roll tomorrow.  Had a chance to text back and forth with my wife a little bit about something other than my addiction problems or our divorce, and I really enjoyed it.  It seems that no matter how hard I try to stay mad (I really don't try that hard), I just can't stay mad at her.  I don't believe God would want me to anyway, and I am doing my level best to do what he would approve of.  I can't speak for her, but I hope we can get this behind us soon and improve how we view each other.

I am kind of tired today, I've been getting more tired lately.  I think not seeing the sun for days on end might have something to do with it.  I wanted snow, and got it.  I didn't have a white Christmas, but had a few days before, and after, and there is still snow on the ground.  As a matter of fact it snowed again today.  I take plenty of vitamin c so i don't think I am sick, at least I don't feel sick.  I have been on an emotional roller-coaster for awhile now, and maybe it is just taking it's toll on me.  At any rate, I am going to go to bed early tonight, maybe really early, maybe within the next hour.  I need to talk to my daughter first, it is the bright spot in my evenings, and though she never has much to say, just the fact that she is on the other end of the phone keeps me going.

I was watching some YouTube videos that I have posted here on this blog, and when it was over, this video came up in the preview pane.  I watched it, and it just makes me sick.  I hate drugs, whether you drink them, smoke them, shoot them, or whatever...  I guess that is why I was disappointed to find out that my son drank last night.  I had hoped that he would go through life being able to say that he had never been drunk, kind of like a badge of honor, but we all have to live our own lives.

Father, I pray that You would guide me, that You would speak clearly to me, and that You would give me ears to hear.  I ask that you help me to keep my thoughts and words always above board.  I pray that you watch over my children and keep Your hands upon them.  I pray that you will be with Anne as she faces tough decisions.

In Jesus name,
Amen