What are my motives?

As I grow in grace, I am becoming more aware of my motives.  Though my words my be right in response to someone I may be in disagreement with, if the intent of my words is to "show them", or inflict harm, then the validity of what I have to say is made null.  On the other hand, if I neglect to say something in an effort to protect someones feelings, I do a disservice to God and that person.  

The Word is a tool that cuts, but that doesn't mean I have the right to use it to hurt someone.  There is a difference.  Recently, around the Christmas holiday, I engaged in a very unprofitable text and email conversation with the mother of my daughter.  I was in an emotionally charged state, and rather than take the advice of my sponsor and just let it be, I felt that I had to justify my position by using scripture and Gods moral law as a weapon.

"For the Word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword. Piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and the morrow. And is a discerner of the thoughts and intents o f the hearts." Hebrews 4:12

And it wasn't merely to justify myself.  If I had left my motivation there I would probably have been okay, but part of the motivation was to inflict emotional harm.  I had inklings of my motivation during this exchange, but it was not until I became clear-headed again that I was able to see the full extent of my motivation.  Although I believe the things I said to be true even now, the motivation and delivery were wrong.  The words were not said out of love and a desire to see her grow closer to God, they were selfishly motivated.

"And is a discerner of the thoughts and intents o f the hearts."

My intentions backfired, and it was I that got cut. The Holy Spirit began whispering to me about my motivation.  I became preoccupied with my motives.  Even here, in the writing of this article, the temptation is to justify myself; to make the reader see my side of things, but the Spirit has begun giving me a literal, I even want to say physical warning sensation when my motives are out of check.  If I feel that, I have to stop and examine the "what" and the "why" of whatever I am about to say.

I have been going through sort of a paradigm shift In my Christian walk.  I have attended a few different churches that would be classified differently, i.e. Pentecostal, Charismatic or Word Faith, and to a small extent Fundamentalist.  I am moving out of the Charismatic genre for my meat, and into I guess you would say Calvinist Fundamental expository.  I still enjoy Charismatic churches for worship, mainly worship through music because I believe that having a profound emotional experience is good for the soul from time to time, but I can no longer justify trying to maintain an emotional state as evidence of my Christian walk.  Emotional response is not a validation of truth, pure and simple.

In a recent Facebook post I received sort of a challenge in the form of a comment.  I'm not going to go into detail here, but let me just say that my post and response to the comment were accurate, or at least accurate to where I am in my walk with Christ at this moment in time.  In writing my response, I felt I was justified and well within the confines of God's Word concerning how we as Christians are to communicate with each other.  I do not believe in the "live and let live" philosophy that so many churches are adopting in order to deal with differences in doctrine.

"Here is a typical letter, and I'm quoting, written to us. "Please reconsider your policy of dealing with the Charismatic movement and other controversial topics on your radio broadcast. Though we share your convictions on these issues, many of our listeners do not. These people are dear brothers and sisters in Christ and we do not feel it is helpful to the cause of Christ to attack what they believe. We're committed to keeping peace among brethren and unity in the Body of Christ. Thank you for being sensitive to these concerns."

It is not helpful to the cause of Christ to attack error anymore. That's what it says. It is not helpful for these dear brothers and sisters in Christ to attack what they believe even though it is wrong. It is more helpful, under this philosophy, to let them remain in error. We are committed to keeping peace, even if peace means error and finding unity even if unity means heresy. Thank you for being sensitive to our desire to maintain heresity if it must be maintained for the sake of unity."

      -John MacArthur

The only problem is that later I felt that small tingle from the Holy Spirit that my motives might have been a little off, or I had a desire not to hurt the other persons feelings.  I can't at this point discern which.  This brings up the question: How do we as Christians communicate Truth to each other when our understanding of Truth differs?  One thing I do know, if we go into it with an "I'll show you" attitude, we do more damage than good.  It looks like I have found a topic of future study.

I have pride issues... I wish that wasn't the case, but I am starting to see that it is true.  I don't want pride clouding my service to God.  I don't want pride getting in the way of what He is trying to do in my life.  I have a hard road in my immediate future, and I want to be able to travel it in humility, love, and confidence.

I also have motivational discernment issues...  I know that I need to learn the difference between selfish motivation, and just not wanting to hurt someones feelings, they are both bad motivation to either say or not say something.  During my marriage, I had to be very careful of what I said to my wife because she was very sensitive when it came to comments about her actions, behaviors, words etc.  One of the ways I failed in my duties as a husband and as priest of our home is that in an effort to protect her feelings I never brought anything to her that might be spiritually beneficial if I thought it would hurt her feelings.  In hindsight, this did her an injustice.  Feelings are temporal, but God's truth is eternal.  Feelings may get hurt, but that hurt will eventually be replaced with growth.  Like I have heard so many times, The Truth hurts, it was designed that way.  But it is also liberating.

To the person who responded to my post, if you are reading this, please accept my apology for offending you if that is the case.  I enjoy an open dialogue about beliefs, even if they differ.  You are my sister in Christ, and I respect you as such...